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perfect.

by Madison Rivas

My life seemed perfect enough. I had loving parents, decent grades, and friends. Gazing up at the moon one cold and dark evening, I thought to myself that nothing in my life could go wrong. Except that I could only wish that my life was perfect. Truth being, I had to deal with rounds of panic attacks weekly, which got pretty tiring after a few months. I just prayed that this wouldn't interrupt tonight. I had had a crush on a girl named Julia for quite a while now. She was sweet, quiet, kind, and a lesbian like myself. We were having a "date night" together, which meant us hanging at her house, baking and watching movies. The thing about my attacks was that they happened out of nowhere, and she's never seen them happen before, so I had to be careful.

I had arrived at her place and a few hours already passed like it was nothing. We baked some cookies and watched Up together, wrapped up in fluffy blankets.

"Wanna watch Tangled next?" she asked me. I nodded, and she went downstairs to get it. I was too caught up in the moment to notice that the worst was happening: yet another attack. I suddenly and defensively curled into a ball as I started to lose control of myself. My body shook to a point to where it was almost vibrating and I couldn't move. My chest heaved and pangs struck my heart. My breath choked once more and I was in tears. Julia came upstairs a few moments after it started and flew over to me, worried.

"Harper! Are you okay?" She put the blanket back over me and started to rub my back until my breathing calmed again. I used my remaining strength to look up at her, her eyes laced with fear. Tears were still streaming down my face while I muttered a string of apologies. She ran her fingers through my hair rhythmically, telling me that everything was going to be okay.

It took a little while for me to calm down completely, but Julia was helping me and cheering me up the whole time. Soon enough, we were both giggling and smiling, but I needed to head home. She gave me some of the cookies to take home and walked me out to the driveway.

"Hey, I'm still sorry about that whole thing," I said to her.

She almost immediately shrugged it off. "It's okay. We still had an amazing time together." She smiled with genuine joy towards me.

"Yeah, we did," I smiled back at her. Before I could even grasp what was happening, she leaned forward and kissed me. Right on the lips.

"See you at school, loser!" She was walking back into her house while I made my way to my car and sat behind the wheel for a few minutes, absorbing her soft lips on mine.

And for once in my life, I felt like everything was perfect.

PO Box 1162 | Buda, TX 78610

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